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Let Go Of Control and Surrender To The Unknown

Have you ever felt so sad and blocked that you felt like you couldn’t move forward with life?

This generally happens when something major in our life changes or the outcome is unsuspecting. When we go through big life transitions and feel generally confused by a situation or the next big step – life can feel deflating. You may feel depression, anxiety and a need to curl up in hope that this phase will end soon.

I’ve been there – where life throws you a curve ball, an unsuspecting situation, that stops you in your tracks and brings you to your knees. You may cry, you may sleep, you may hide away and if you’re anything like me you may over analyse.

Every. Single. Memory.  

I think it’s so important to honour your feelings and go to those deep (sometimes dark) places to cry and contemplate. Those places are where we can do some deep work on ourselves especially if we are being self reflective.

“Real growth can happen when you stop blaming others or a situation”

Self reflection can be a beautiful medicine and catalyst for positive change.

Check out my self reflection journal prompts post here.

It’s also important to have a foundation around you – a support system of kind and caring people in your life who will help you by listening to your woes, bringing you your favourite tea or giving you a big “I’m here for you” hug. It’s so important to reach out to your support buddies when you need them – know who they are and don’t be afraid to ask for help. There are also many incredible free support services to call if you’re ever need to chat to someone.

And if the situation is too hard to talk about right now – write about it or record yourself talking about it. Sometimes getting things off your chest like this can be just as therapeutic.

Hard life transitions can be seen as challenging rollercoasters – a breakup, loss of job, financial difficulties, a major crossroad. Most people will want to work out…

  • What should I do next? 
  • How do I know if I’m doing the right thing? 
  • If I do A, what if B happens? 

All of the ‘what if’ scenarios start to creep in and we get so wound up in the outcome that we forget about the lesson.

Rather than think – why is this happening to me?

Contemplate – what is this teaching me?


No one actually knows what’s coming next – so worrying about the future, preempting all of the possibilities and being fixated on the outcome can really bring you deeper into that dark place.  Sometimes we need to surrender and let go of everything – the outcome, the goal, the future – in order to receive what’s coming next.

Sometimes our greatest worries, become our life’s blessing.

So next time you’re feeling low about a situation that hasn’t gone to plan – go through the motions, reach out to your support buddies, journal or call a free support service to talk to someone and…

  • Let go of the outcome – stop trying to control the situation or your life
  • Accept the lesson – what is this situation teaching me?
  • Focus on what you can control
  • Be grateful for all of the beautiful things you have in your life
  • Be present – live in the moment. Forward thinking to the future, or past dwelling is counter productive
  • Surrender – let go of the answer, the story, the outcome and allow yourself to receive


By letting go of control, you allow the universe to give you what is most resonant to you…

… aligning your world with the best possible outcome – or further lessons – oh yes there are always more lessons and teachings to come!

Making positive steps in the right direction is still important – a breakup: learning to love yourself again, loss of job: working on your resume/LinkedIn, financial difficulties: working on a financial roadmap, a major crossroad: working on a vision board, etc.

But life’s greatest mysteries is not knowing what will happen next. This can be scary and exciting all in one. Each moment in life is a blessing and if we focus on what should have happened and forget about the blessings and the lessons we won’t ever truly be ready to surrender and embrace the next unknown chapters with love, openness and gratitude.

Is there something you can let go of or stop controlling today in order to surrender and receive?

Have you ever surrendered to a situation and let the universe hold and support you? What was the outcome for you when you stopped pushing and controlling?

Let me know in the comments below.

© 2024 Putu Jess Patra. All Rights Reserved